Here's to Bad-Ass Kids (In Children's Books)

I know: a careless toast. I don’t have kids of my own, and so I have the luxury to say that children, in life and literature, deserve to be given the freedom to be mischievous and wayward, and have to be steered away from the adult pretensions of propriety and morality. Honestly, though, I go ballistic when kids turn wild on my watch, and I often abuse my authority as an adult to get them to, ahem, behave.
But naughty kids in children’s books – ah, it’s a pleasure if one is just reading about them. Many of these mischief-makers get away with their tricks because they are made to be funny, while other characters are sympathetic because they remind us that badness is human.
Some naughty-licious kids worth noting:
1. Max, Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak
It’s all in the wolf suit.
2. George and Harold, Captain Underpants series by Dav Pilkey
Bart Simpson’s spirit lives (pop quiz: who has the flat top, and who has the bad haircut?).
3. Calvin, Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson
Not strictly children’s literature material, but I had to make him count because he reminds me so much of my brothers.
4. Alexander, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst
Alexander’s nugget of truth: when nothing is going right, the best way to deal with it is to make things worse.
5. Harriet, Harriet the Spy by Louise Fitzhugh
When Harriet’s life has turned into one huge shit-storm, she trips up a classmate in an attempt to regain some balance in her world. The cruelty that suddenly explodes in her frightened me because I recognized it.
6. Bradley Chalkers, There’s a Boy in the Girl’s Bathroom by Louis Sachar
Guide to understanding bullies.
7. Anne Shirley, Anne of the Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery
Too bad she grows up.
8. Junie B. Jones, Junie B. Jones series by Barbara Park
Ang kulit!
9. Tom Sawyer, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
This bad boy refuses to show his age.
10. Pippi Longstocking, Pippi Longstocking by Astrid Lindgren
Another spirited redhead, though I thought she rocked the boat more effectively without superpowers.

I do find some bad kids to be unpleasant: Edmund (The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis) broke my heart, and even when he repented, I could never fully trust him again. And despite their transformations, Colin and Mary (The Secret Garden by FH Burnett) were too uglified in the book's beginning that I don’t think I can ever embrace them.
And as for Artemis Fowl, I would rather hang out with his butler.

Last Word:
If you don't turn your life into a story, you just become part of someone's else's story.
Terry Pratchett
The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents